10:28 a.m. - May 17, 2007
Visiting The Stress That Is Gone
Had a great day yesterday. Other then a little tift with hubby. He mentioned that he was going to take the camping equipment back to his brothers house today or tomorrow and pick the 6yr old up a cubscout tee-shirt to wear on our outing on Saturday. I mentioned that he said that we can do it on the weekend, but that it was no big deal. Then I hear "Why is it that everytime I say that I'm going to the city do you get an attiitude? How many times do I really go?"
I comment back "Well maybe it's because everytime you go you never answer your cell phone when I call. Almost like your somewhere more important and my call isn't or that you are trying to spare mine or someone else's feelings by not talking to me."
Well I know that he knew exactly what I meant when I said that comment. Everytime he goes to the city and vists the cunt (Michelle), who by the way is not dead or seriously mamed yet, he never answers his cell phone when I call. But per the cell phone bill he checked his messages and made calls to his son and so forth...so why is it so hard to call me back?
Well he fell silent and I dropped the subject knowing I made my point clear and how the shit obvioulsy bothers me. Will it make a difference? Probably not, but I can use it as ammo at another time.
Hubby asked me to go see Thomas with him tonight. I told him to ask him if he minds and if it's ok I will, but I don't want to upset him and ruin his visit with his son. Do I want to go see him, no not really, but if the shoe was on the other foot I would probably be upset if he didn't go with me to see one of my kids. Right now it's Thomas' call whether or not he wants me there. I'm sure that he feels that I am the reason he was locked away and that I'm the cause of what he's going through. I know that I'm not and it was his own actions that put him where he is today.
Court is cancelled for this today and rescheduled for May 31st since Thomas isn't capable of attending. His doctor said that he can't attend until he is released from the hospital and they don't know when that will be.
The house is alot less stressfull with Thomas not there. I'm not doing dishes 24/7 and the food in the house is lasting a hell of alot longer with him gone. It's an unfortunate situation, but I feel so relieved and safe for the first time in months. I'm sure the kids feel better as well. The tension between hubby and I hasn't really been there and our fighting has taken a backseat. Thomas was the cause for alot of my stress and anxiety which has totally, well almost, diminished. I just hope that the courts place him in a long term facility where he can get the help he needs.
Until next time.....
