12:53 p.m. - August 22, 2007
Waiting For The Bomb To Go Off
Gosh, reading my old entries was very weird. The whole Thomas thing and court to where we are now. Michelle and my feelings toward her. Just a whole lot of shit. Do I feel any different today then I did those days. Yes.
I still can't stand Michelle and I can say that if I saw her I would fuck her up. My insecurities aren't as bad as they were a few months ago.
My feelings for Thomas are still the same. I really can't stand the site of him. I can't wait until he's old enough to move out of the house.
My ex hasn't called in over a week to speak with Robbie. Hopefully that will be the end of that.
Less stress in certain aspects but more other places. I went into Subway today to get lunch and had a full blown anxiety attack. I had one about three weeks ago and haven't been back. I know I have to keep going in there to get over it so I did today. Anxiety set in REALLY BAD but I was able to pay for lunch, make it back to the office ok. Didn't even take any meds to calm me down when I got back. That's a really big step for me.
Money, again, is really tight. School clothes and supplies are killing us. We are looking into refinancing our house rather then moving. I have about $25,000 in equity that we're going to try to tap into. Not all of it but some to pay off some debt. Hopefully it goes through. My credit is so bad that people that file bankruptcy have a better credit rating then me.
I don't know if I wrote about this yet so I'm going to write about it anyways. We had a house manager from my work steal about $4000 from the tards at a house. That bothers me alot that people have no morals and feelings about what they are doing. Some say it was drugs. I don't know, but I do know that work is pressing charges against her. Because she stole their personal allowance which is money from Social Security she might be looking at federal charges. Fucking bitch, I hope you go to hell for that.
Feel really good today. Didn't go to the gym last night, but did go for about a 3 mile walk with hubby. Spent the evening with Cassie watching old 80's hair band videos till midnight. Things are going pretty good. Just anticipating the blowup real soon since it's been awhile.
