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11:43 a.m. - May 03, 2007 Went for a walk (about 3 miles) last night with hubby and Robbie (6yr old). Robbie rode his bike while we walked. I wasn't feeling to well so I thought the walk would do me good. We didn't walk at work yesterday because of meetings and such. It was a nice walk, very nice. Had a nice evening. Hubby went to work at 9:30 and I sat up until midnight playing my World of Warcraft. God I hate it now that he's on midnights. I just feel that we don't get our "alone" time anymore. I miss him so much it eats me up inside. By the time he gets home, I am so damn tired (4am) I can't see straight. But damn do I miss him. I miss him not holding me at night, calling me during the day at work to see how things are going. Me calling him during the day to see how his day is. I do love the time to myself. I love the fact that I finally have a minute to breathe once Robbie goes to bed and he goes to work. I can watch a movie or something I DVR'd or play my game. I guess there are pro's and con's to everything. We got a court date for the 15 year old yesterday. May 10th at 2:00 and I still feel terrible. I said to hubby how hard this is because he's been good. Doing things around the house without expecting money for it and such. Hubby says it's because he knows that he has a court date coming soon, but he didn't know when. I told him how the consequences for his actions just kill me because him being sent away in a detention home seems so extreme and that there's got to be a better recourse. But like he said when Thomas is bad, he's out of control. We've done everything for him and he needs specialist to help him to prepare him for "adult hood" He has a learning disability and I can not imagine him living on his own, holding a job or even driving a vehicle for that matter. Hubby thinks that we can't help him with those things because he doesn't want our help. I don't know, passing him off to a state agency just seems like such a lame cop out, but I think of his future and maybe it will be better for him. Better now then being in jail for a few years, since he turns 16 next week. His probation officer talked about locking him up in a detention center while his court is going on. Maybe a month or so there might help and he won't have to be placed for such along time. Hubby said that in family court (New York State) that if you get sentenced by the system, it's a 12 month minimum sentence. I guess I would rather have this then him in jail or possibly dead.
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