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6:17 a.m. - May 19, 2007
I'm Such A Quitter
You know sometimes I really hate life and how I live. I know that I can only change and everything else stays the same. Everything that I have ever started in my life I quit. Such as girl scouts, dance classes when I was younger, college, hair school, dance classes when I was older, writing reviews for the paper, my grant writing classes and so forth. Like my mother once told me when I was young and it has stuck with me "You are nothing but a quitter." I have yet to prove her wrong.

Yesterday was a nice day with hubby until the night came. He got pissed at the world because there was no ketchup left. Now I know that this seems silly but it happens all the time. No one in this house tells you that they're using the last of anything until you make something and there's no milk or butter or bread or even ketchup for that matter.

Needless to say he went on a tangent about how he was on vacation and he has done nothing for himself. We have Robbie's cubscout thing this morning which I don't even want to go to now because of his comments. He's pissed that the CUNT (Michelle) probably called and got pissed at him for not going to see her. I told him that I will not do anything again with him while he is off and I will never take another day off of work to spend with him. He can go today and tomorrow and go see whoever he wants. I am to the point of just not giving a shit anymore. I made it clear to him quite a few times yesterday how I felt about Michelle and if my feelings aren't important to him well then I guess it's nothing new.

I want this cast off today and I am ready to grab a hammer and whatever else to get it off. I don't want anymore rides to work from him. I don't want anything from him. I wonder if I call the ER and tell them that I need it off if they will do it?

I hate that I have such a generic life and feel like I'm going no where. I hate having bills and wondering where the money is going to come from to pay them. I hate that I have anxiety attacks everyday. I hate that I don't know how to deal with everyday things and I have to blog or medicate myself just to get through a day. I hate going to work and most of all I hate that I'm a quitter.

 

 

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